A Road Trip to Donggang
When it came to Donggang, Dapeng Bay Bridge popped up to everyone’s mind. But to me, it was once my nightmare for five years. It was inaugurated when I was in eighth grade. Since then, it had taken me thirty to forty minutes to ride a bike to school. In the process, the most difficult challenge was to ride up the bridge. It is seventy-one meters tall from the column tip to water surface, or seventeen meters tall from the bridge to water surface. No matter how I made effort to try to reach the top, only I could do was give up in the half way. Although these “special” experiences were tough to my studying life, I had to say this bridge was an impressive structure indeed because it was the only one flexible suspension bridge set for sea traffic in Taiwan, and I was really proud of it. What’s more, the bridge could be appreciated from three perspectives, and you could find something interesting from it. It looked like a giant bird when looking from the front; like the English letter A while appreciating from the hind, or resembled a sail when you looked from the side respectively. It depended on from which angle you took a look, and maybe you could take a yacht to enjoy it. Moreover, people could choose which way to appreciate the bridge. Some chose to ride a bike to the top, and Liuqiu would come into sight; the other chose to take a yacht, especially to appreciate its opening show. The most brilliant was its shape. The sail-shaped bridge attracted a great number of people to visit on weekends, but also showed its unique charisma of the ocean imagery. It was worthy of visiting Donggang and you wouldn’t regret. Its charm and charisma would be beyond your imagination
definitely.
map:
https://www.google.com.tw/maps/place/928%E5%B1%8F%E6%9D%B1%E7%B8%A3%E6%9D%B1%E6%B8%AF%E9%8E%AE%E9%B5%AC%E7%81%A3%E8%B7%A8%E6%B5%B7%E5%A4%A7%E6%A9%8B/@22.4455735,120.4203965,3672a,20y,75.63h,44.21t/data=!3m1!1e3!4m5!3m4!1s0x3471e17384b202b3:0xcc30c161dcb643a6!8m2!3d22.4487094!4d120.4552091
resources from:
http://goosefly.pixnet.net/blog/post/187260672-%E9%B5%AC%E7%81%A3%E8%B7%A8%E6%B5%B7%E5%A4%A7%E6%A9%8B
http://088338100.tvsoez.com/
http://tiscsvr.tbroc.gov.tw/photo.asp?phrfnbr=12922
http://tiscsvr.tbroc.gov.tw/photo.asp?phrfnbr=12920
1. Does the writer tell a story, or narrative, in the paragraph? Yes
回覆刪除2. What is the narrative about (the topic)? Donggang Dapeng Bay Bridge
3. Does the writer tell the events of the story in chronological order? Yes
4. Do you have any suggestions about the organization of the paragraph? I think its organization is good.
5. What is the topic sentence of the paragraph? If it is implied, state it in your own words. When it came to Donggang, Dapeng Bay Bridge popped up to everyone’s mind.
6. How could the topic sentence be improved? I think you can more specific.
7. Is the paragraph clear and focused? Yes
8-1. What is the controlling idea of the paragraph? It was my nightmare. The most difficult challenge was to ride up the bridge.
8-2. Is it clear and focused? Yes
9. What is the most interesting part of the paragraph? What has the writer done well? The part talked about we can see different shapes of bridge from three dimensions.
10. What part of the paragraph needs the most attention in the next draft? I think is topic sentence and conclusion.
1.Does the writer tell a story, or narrative, in the paragraph? Yes
回覆刪除2.What is the narrative about (the topic)? Dapeng Bay Bridge to the writer is a unforgotten memory.
3.Does the writer tell the events of the story in chronological order? Yes
4.Do you have any suggestions about the organization of the paragraph? You can write a clear story in this paragraph. It can let your story be more interesting.
5.What is the topic sentence of the paragraph? When it came to Donggang, Dapeng Bay Bridge popped up to everyone’s mind.
6.How could the topic sentence be improved? I think Dapeng Bay Bridge is still amazing now, so you should write this sentence to be past tense.
7.Is the paragraph clear and focused? Yes
8-1.What is the controlling idea of the paragraph?It was my nightmare. The most difficult challenge was to ride up the bridge.
8-2.Is it clear and focused? Yes
9.What is the most interesting part of the paragraph? What has the writer done well? The writer use many words to describe this bridge, and it is a good way in a paragraph.
The writer can describe feeling more and more.
10.What part of the paragraph needs the most attention in the next draft? The story can be write long.